[Felvtalk] Tucker

Thu Jun 9 08:55:34 CDT 2016

Rachel, That's lovely. You could try fostering or volunteering with the
shelter or the cats at Petsmart. You could help some kitties along the way
but not have to make any big decisions or commitments until you're ready.
Of course, there's nothing quite like the excitement of officially
adopting. :) Whatever you do, I'm sure Tucker would be proud.

On Thu, Jun 9, 2016 at 9:50 AM, Rachel Dagner <rdagner at novahrc.com> wrote:

> I picked up Tucker’s ashes yesterday. I was really worried as I didn’t
> know if it would make me feel better or worse. I haven’t eaten since Sunday
> my appetite is nonexistent, I have managed to choke down a couple protein
> shakes. My eyes are so swollen, I feel bad for anyone who has the
> misfortune of looking at me, or being around me for that matter. Well, I of
> course cried all of the way to the vets, and all the way home. But then I
> curled up in bed with my little box of Tucker, and I actually did feel a
> little more at peace. I laid there with him and went through my pictures
> again and talked to him about all of my feelings and my love for him, about
> our memories and how much I miss him.
>
>
>
> I have actually been in touch with a rescue group I found on pet finder,
> they test every cat for FELV/FIV while many others don’t. I know that there
> is no sure thing with testing, and I wouldn’t trade my time with Tucker for
> anything in the world. I just know that emotionally and financially I am
> not ready for FELV again right now. If it happens, just like with any
> illness, then I deal with it, because that is what you do.  I am going to
> Petsmart over in Tampa on Sunday to meet their kitties, I have no idea if I
> will be ready, or if this is what I desperately need to do to help me heal,
> but it won’t hurt to go meet them and see how my heart feels. One of the
> greatest gifts Tucker gave me is that “no cats” Harry, when I showed him a
> pictures of a kitty on Pet finder he said  “Is that the one you want to
> get?” So I know now that I will never again have to live without the feel
> of that soft fur on my face or the heart melting sound of purring in my
> ear. It is so hard because I am scared to get one, and I am scared not to.
> I guess we will see what happens…
>
>
>
> *From:* Felvtalk [mailto:felvtalk-bounces at felineleukemia.org] *On Behalf
> Of *Ardy Robertson
> *Sent:* Wednesday, June 08, 2016 11:59 PM
>
> *To:* felvtalk at felineleukemia.org
> *Subject:* Re: [Felvtalk] Tucker
>
>
>
> I’m just so happy that you had that kind of relationship with your
> fur-baby. The memories are wonderful. I recently adopted another cat even
> though I said I would not. No one will ever take Tigger’s place in my
> heart, but Topaz is easing the pain. I may never have that bond that I had
> with Tigger or like you had with Tucker, but I figured that was not a
> reason to not try again, and with all the little homeless kitties, I think
> Tigger would have wanted me to help another kitty. Certainly take your
> time, but I hope you can open your heart again at some point.
>
>
>
> Ardy
>
>
>
>
>
> *From:* Felvtalk [mailto:felvtalk-bounces at felineleukemia.org
> <felvtalk-bounces at felineleukemia.org>] *On Behalf Of *Rachel Dagner
> *Sent:* Wednesday, June 8, 2016 7:22 AM
> *To:* felvtalk at felineleukemia.org
> *Subject:* Re: [Felvtalk] Tucker
>
>
>
> Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I knew it was going to be hard
> for me, it has been even harder than I ever imagined. I went through all of
> my adorable pictures of him last night. Remembered him how he was and
> imagined him that way again. He was such a cool and handsome little guy. I
> only had him for a year and a half. In that time we went through so much.
> Emergency vet visits, surgeries, worry. I wouldn't change it for the world
> though. He touched my life and heart so much. I opted for a private
> cremation, so I can keep him close to me always. I was the one person in
> his life that he loved and adored more than anything, and he never doubted
> my love for him.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>
> On Jun 8, 2016, at 8:02 AM, Katherine K. <kathstix at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> I'm sorry about Tucker and for the pain you feel. I hope the happy
> memories you shared bring you comfort during this difficult time. We're
> here for you.
>
>
>
> On Wed, Jun 8, 2016 at 1:37 AM, Ardy Robertson <ardyr at centurytel.net>
> wrote:
>
> I'm so sorry for your loss of Tucker.
>
> Ardy
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Felvtalk [mailto:felvtalk-bounces at felineleukemia.org] On Behalf Of
> Rachel Dagner
> Sent: Tuesday, June 7, 2016 9:33 AM
> To: felvtalk at felineleukemia.org
> Subject: [Felvtalk] Tucker
>
> I lost him yesterday morning. He was having a really hard time breathing
> due
> to the tumor in his chest. It was time, they got me in right away. It was
> so
> very hard to say goodbye. I haven't been able to quit crying since.
> It's so unbelievably hard, even knowing that it would happen soon. I miss
> him so much. Everything reminds me of him. I am at work luckily alone
> today,
> and can't quit crying. I had him with me at work last week and he was
> laying
> on my desk and purring and sleeping. It's just so hard to believe he is
> gone. I sat in the parking lot at my vets for at least an hour with my car
> door open, just in case he spirit needed to get inside and come home with
> me. I know it will get better, but right now the pain is just unbearable. I
> know that those here who have gone through this understand where I am right
> now.
>
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