[Felvtalk] Merlin has gone to the bridge

[Jennifer Lewis]

Kelley,

I am so sorry for your loss. Please do not beat yourself up. It's just a hard fact that sometimes there just isn't enough, no matter how much we try and how much we love them. We do the best we can, and we honor them and love them and then we miss and remember them.

I lost my heart and soul kitty 4 months ago to CRF (he was never FeLV+) and have spent countless (seriously) hours going over what I could have done different and better, and why couldn't I save him, because I couldn't. His little body just gave out, and there was nothing that I could do but let him go. It was the best gift that I could give after all his singular love and devotion. Merlin saved you making that decision. Thank him for that gift.
I also lost my + kitten Smoosh last year, so it's been a tough time. She made it to 14 months, so we thought we were in the clear... 
For the record, in my opinion and speaking for myself, the love they give back and having them happy and safe for as long as possible is worth every sacrifice, even the heartbreaking ones.  We are the Island of Misfit Toys. I now have a senior (19 years and 9 months), a diabetic, a cripple and a lovely girl who was obviously abused and took almost a year to touch her, and another + girl with Stomatitis. 

Merlin knew your love, and that is what you need to hold onto.

XO
Jennifer (And my heart of hearts, Buff)
On Sep 27, 2015, at 12:49 PM, Kelley S wrote:

> I failed him.  I did not notice his symptoms in time.  Now I have his "sister" (not blood related" by herself.  She is going to be miserable,she does not like to be alone.  I had an appointment for 2 other cats on Monday.  I am switching her out with one of them so that I can get her completely checked out.  Not that heart failure is contagious, but I need to be more on top of my FELV+ cats, or now, cat.  I can't do this anymore, I don't know how yall do it.  I don't have "too many" cats overall, but I do think I have "too many" to handle many chronically ill (or potentially chronically ill).  I guess any cat is "potentially chronically ill."  By the way, I fell even more in love with this doctor when he told me he had taken home 2 FELV+ kittens from the clinic and they died before 10 months old.  I read between the lines that someone wanted their FELV+ kittens euthanized or did not want them when they tested pos.  
> 
> On Sun, Sep 27, 2015 at 2:19 PM, Marsha <martia at lynxe.com> wrote:
> Kelley, I am so, so sorry to hear about Merlin.  Thanks for doing your best and taking care of him as you did.  Sometimes love just isn't enough to keep them here, and they have to move on to the next realm.  Out of our sight and hearing, but never disconnected from our hearts.
> 
> Soft headbonks and purrs from FeLV+ Brock and me, and my Murrlin too.
> 
> Marsha
> 
> 
> On 9/27/2015 2:08 PM, Kelley S wrote:
> They say his heart gave out.
> 
> Kelley
> 
> 
> 
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