[Felvtalk] Grieving, and need to understand about felv

[Amani Oakley]

Anne

None of this is your fault at all. I too was given no hope for my Zander. It is the reason I was so angry with the vet community when I stumbled upon Winstrol and found it worked. I was then so stunned to find out that I hadn’t just accidentally “discovered” something new. The vet I spoke with (who had been the internal medicine specialist looking after Zander and pressuring me to put him down – saying that I needed to consider his “quality of life”) surprised me by telling me that he knew about Winstrol and that I had gone “old school”. He told me that they used to use Winstrol “years back” but had stopped when a report had surfaced suggesting that it might cause liver damage.

Then, after having proof positive that the Winstrol had done this amazing thing with Zander and brought him back from the brink of death, still I encountered vets who were resistant to using Winstrol. I couldn’t understand it at all. They preferred to put a cat down than to even TRY the Winstrol. Thus my conclusion that Winstrol has been “black balled” because of its association with performance enhancement in athletes. Seriously, nothing else makes any sense. When a cat is dying, whether or not a vet believes that there may be side-effects to a medication, it makes no sense to withhold something that MAY be beneficial when the end result is certainly going to be bad.

Anne, there is just nothing at all you did wrong. I sympathize completely with your guilt, because I too wish I had known more about Winstrol BEFORE Zander decompensated so badly. I think that because he did, the virus was allowed to continue attacking his body and left scarring on the heart – the cause of his death at 7 years.

My experience is the reason I found this group and was determined to share my experience. I hoped that sharing my experience might mean that others may find that Winstrol is helpful for their cats as well, and I have since used it in a number of other situations of cats given no hope. Obviously, it is impossible to know if Sam might have been helped, but you clearly did everything you could and gave him every chance.

Amani

From: Felvtalk [mailto:felvtalk-bounces at felineleukemia.org] On Behalf Of annetburton at aol.com
Sent: November-27-15 1:00 PM
To: felvtalk at felineleukemia.org
Subject: [Felvtalk] Grieving, and need to understand about felv

Hello. My name is Anne, and I just had to put my kitty, Sam, down on Wednesday, due to his having felv and being very ill.

I am having those terrible self doubts now... I have had to let some furbabies go in the past, and I always have those doubts, even though I know it was the right thing for them.

I am a cat rescue participant. I have had strays fixed, taken to vet, treated, and have found homes for some. I rescued Sam and his brother Domino, when they were young kittens, the babies of a feral/stray momma. An evil neighbor trapped their mom, brother, and sister, and took them to Animal friends in our town, where they were euthanized immediately... the animal warden made me aware of this when I called him, to talk about the neighbor trapping them.

Anyway, Sam and Dom , and another rescued abandoned girl, Roxie, have been my only ones for the past few years. Sam and Dom are four years old. Sam was always sickly, with colds. the vet thought it was probably feline herpes, and he was treated for colds, and finally didn't get them anymore, though he began to have issues ... stomatitis. it was getting harder and harder to get it to clear up.

I had Sam and Dom neutered when they were about six months old. I thought they had a felv shot at that time, but Wednesday, I learned that they had not.

Sam was always happy, bouncy, and my little squirrel tailed kitty :), but his mouth became very inflamed and  I took him in to the vet. She gave him zenequin and prednisone. It wasn't working, and he became worse, not eating much, and I took him back. they then gave him fluids, and a depo medrol shot. I was to call back in two days. He became lethargic the day after the shot.. hardly walking, eyes became bloodshot and running a lot. I knew he was in trouble, and took him back in. They called me to say that they tested him and he was feline leukemia positive.

I was so afraid that he was not going to get better. He was anemic by this time. petikia in his eyes, his gums terrible. not even standing by this point! I honestly could not imagine him coming back from this point, and asked them if it was the best thing to let him go. They said yes, that he was just going to keep going down hill (he was already bottomed out, in my opinion). So I went in, and held him while giving him freedom from his pain and suffering. It is breaking my heart and I need to hear that I did not do this prematurely.... I see things online now, where people say it can be treated.

I have the other two, who seem very well. Roxie was a pet store cat, who was abandoned by a relative who was supposed to be caring for her. she had a micro chip and I was able to talk to her owner who was away at college. I am thinking that Roxie had had her vaccine for that. I will be having her tested soon, at another vets, where she has a treatment plan. The same for Domino, who I am worried about, although he has been through a broken  leg, an infection in the cast, and a long treatment before  his leg was able to be re -casted.  he has always been very healthy, but I am worried. I have been reading , searching, as to whether some cats may not get it, and I am hoping that my Domino is one of the lucky ones who may have had it and thrown it off (If I understand that process correctly).

I am so sad, wondering if I could have given my Sam more time. The vets were not positive at all, and agreed that it was the best for Sam. I do not always believe vets, and don't have the utmost trust in this practice, but I also know that doubts are normal, when you have had to make this terrible choice, for your beloved furbaby.

any reassurances are welcome.
thank you,
anne
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